The ORIGINAL Hans Christian Andersen’s The Little Mermaid.
Here is the story in a nutshell:
Mermaids pierce their tails with shells according to social status. They throw awesome parties, and they come of age at fifteen. TLM is allowed to surface on her fifteenth birthday, with the blessing of her father and sassy grandmother.
She sees a party ship, thinks the prince is a dish, and watches the ship sink. She saves his life and drags him to shore, where his unconscious ass gets rescued.
TLM goes emo for a while, madly and mournfully in love. She lets her sea-garden die, and stalks the beach where she saved him in case he returns. Seasons go by. With her sister’s help she finds where he lives, and stalks him at his palace.
Then she goes to the sorceress, where she gets her TONGUE CUT OFF in payment. She is given a potion that will give her legs, but it hurts like a chainsaw cutting her torso to feet. Oh, and every time she takes a step it feels like she’s walking on knives. Awesome.
And then the prince leads her on. He lets TLM follow him around, kisses her, and tells her she will never be the woman of his dreams. Still, just to be close to him, the broken hearted little mermaid lives as happily beside him as she can, until he marries another woman. TLM holds the train of the other woman’s wedding dress as her handsome prince weds someone else. Then she dances at the wedding until her feet bleed, knowing she will die the next day. You see, the sorceress warned her that if the prince wed someone else, TLM would die and become foam on the sea.
Her last chance to save her own life is to stab the prince while he sleeps. Instead, she kisses the sleeping bride good bye, wishes him a final farewell, and falls into the ocean.
Happy ending? kind of. She gets to spend the next 300 years in purgatory as an air-spirit trying to win an immortal soul by doing good deeds. But she now has the hope of earning an immortal soul, which mermaids cannot have on their own.
Clearly Disney took a few creative liberties. “Ariel” is not what Mr. Andersen had in mind. His story is one of self-sacrifice and solitude- the ultimate unrequited love.
Will someone please make this version a movie now?
• Accidentally close a tab? Ctrl+Shift+T reopens it.
• Bananas release dopamine, eat them when you’re sad.
• CTRL+SHIFT+ESC is the one handed version of CTRL+ALT+DEL
• Don’t brush your teeth hard, it makes them sensitive and removes enamel.
• Don’t like spiders? Put citronella oil on your walls and they will not go there.
• Drink one glass of water for every alcoholic drink you have, you’ll get drunk without getting a hangover.
• Get clear ice cubes by boiling water before freezing it
• Heal paper cuts and immediately stop the pain with chapstick.
• If you accidentally write on your dry erase board with a permanent marker, scribble over it with a dry eraser marker to remove it.
• If your shoes smell, put them in the freezer overnight, it will kill the bacteria.
• Make bug bites stop itching with a banana peel.
• Make a paper longer with 12-point text, but 14-point periods and commas.
• Need to get around a blocked website at work? Try replacing the http:// with https://
• Never send your resume as a word file (unless asked) Instead, print it to a pdf file, it’s much cleaner and professional looking.
• Pick a flavor of gum you don’t normally chew, and chew it while studying during a test.
• Place a piece of bread in a container with your homemade cookies and they will stay soft.
• Put a dry towel into a dryer with wet clothes, they will dry faster.
• Put toothpaste on a pimple and it will dry out.
• Practise fake smiling in the mirror every day before going to work/school, you’ll genuinely start to feel happier.
• Rub canola/olive oil on knives before cutting onions, you won’t cry, alternatively chew gum and you won’t either.
• Short on time with a wrinkled dress shirt? Hang it up in the bathroom to steam it flat.
• The night before, place things you don’t want to forget the next morning on top of your shoes.
• Use hydrogen peroxide to remove blood stains from clothing.
• When cleaning windows use newspapers or coffee filters instead of paper towels, they will not leave streaks.
• When microwaving bread products/pizza put a glass of water in with it, it will keep your bread for going spongy.
• When you move into a new place you’re renting, take pictures of any and all damage, then post them on facebook (privately if preferred) so you can use the reference date as proof you didn’t do it.
• When searching plane tickets online delete your cookies prior, prices go up when you visit a site multiple times. <sma
Every couple knows this hand hold too well. Right after an argument or a fight, the girl is still upset, and the guy knows he messed up, but he loves her, so he reaches down and forcefully takes her hand and locks his fingers with hers, and she loves him, so she grips down around his hand and holds it back, and at that point intime, everything is better and back to the way it should be. Maybe not forever, but at least for a brief moment.
well damn i miss this. even with all the fighting. there is always love in there somewhere.
can i just….
This could be the greatest .gif of all time.
you forgot the D
there's no D in me.